Meditation creates awareness of thoughts, causing self-reflection and cognisance of weaknesses, fragilities and insecurities. It can be helpful to highlight these progress areas. But often I think to myself, “why am I torturing myself with all of this reflection? Can’t I just mindlessly plod towards a goal? I’d love to stop painstakingly thinking myself in circles. WTF does it help with anyway?! Where is that I’m ‘progressing’ towards…”
These pressures to quit the process and get off the meditative bus grow louder for stretches of time. A few hours, perhaps a few days… And then it hits me; the only real solution is to meditate. True meditation, actual mindfulness allows liberation from the contracted self-concern, and it’s a pretty quick remedy. Perhaps I was never meditating in the first place?